- ‘In my last school presentation, although I studied the subject very well, my performance was very bad, because of my extreme sense of shyness’
- ‘I don"t have many friends, as I"m too shy’
- ‘I don"t have the ability to say my opinion in front of many people’
- ‘I’m always worried about people"s opinion of me.’
These are some of the problems confronting various youth who suffer from a desperately feeling of shyness.
Several questions come to mind, such as:
• Why is one shy?
• How to get rid of this shyness?
• How to discover if one is shy or not?
In fact, before answering these questions we first have to differentiate between the good shyness or hayaa’, and the bad shyness.
Don"t Confuse Hayaa" with "Bad" Shyness!
Various young people misunderstand the real meaning of hayaa", and believe that there is no difference between negative shyness and hayaa".
In Islam hayaa" is a very significant branch of faith. However, there is a great difference between the less preferred shyness and hayaa".
Hayaa" is a word that shows how a person avoid committing a sin or at least ashamed to make a sin or something which is prohibited by Almighty Allah and His Messenger.
On the other hand, negative shyness, comes from lack of social communication, low self esteem, causing the shy person to become introverted and isolated.
This type of shyness is not encouraged, and can be considered as negative. However, there are various indications that can tell you if you are suffering from this shyness due to lack of self confidence or not.
Actually, shyness is an inner feeling that can appear through your actions in the different situations, especially ones that require dealing with a wide range of people.
Shyness is accompanied by some symptoms, such as feelings of embarrassment, panic, anxiety, speechless and insecurity. The shy person also might confront some physical problems, such as breathing difficulties and over sweating.
When feeling that you can"t speak out loud or in front of many people this means that you are confronting a deep feeling of shyness.
The shy person is more likely to have few friends, and is more apt to be an introvert, especially when meeting new people. They face obstacles in any situation that needs braveness. They react passively in various situations that requires their opinion, and so they prefer to keep silent.
They don"t have good presentation skills, that"s why they prefer having jobs that do not need this skill, for instance, rarely does one find a TV anchor who is shy.
Shyness can cause several problems for the shy person, and can act as an obstacle in reaching his goals. For instance, we might find a hard working student who might find themselves having lower grades than expected because of their poor presentation skills, - a significant part in many schools and universities.
Du"aa" Megahed, a 25 year- old business analyst, said that she lost several jobs, and opportunities in life because of her shyness.
In fact, You might fail at applying for a preferred job because of shyness, due to poor presentation of self at the job interview, in spite of having a high profile and the necessary qualifications.
Shyness has also a negative obvious impact upon the shy person"s personal life. Perhaps you have good traits, but people around you are not capable of discovering it because you are shy to show them.
Consequently, the shy person also might be facing various psychological problems, such as anxiety and low self confidence.
Shiam EL-Bassiouni is a staff writer at youth for the future. A graduate of the American University in Cairo, she holds a bachelor"s degree in journalism and mass communicationwith minor psychology. She is interested in the issues of youth and community development. She has worked with a number of voluntary organizations and charities.